Monday, February 15, 2010

Prima Guide to Webcomics about Aged Dragons and Geek Speak x2

The Book of Dragon Age: Origins
In a fit of frustration and moment of indulging in some retail therapy (always a bad decision, always, even if you do end up buying something your wife really needs), and picked up the Prima guide for Dragon Age: Origins. Perhaps not the best use of $25.00. When I picked it up, it was in the hopes that the video game sages of Prima-who spend their days in unwashed diapers playing PCs and consoles endlessly so that us mere mortals might actually stand a chance of completing one of the damn things-would have some as to the best strategy to defeat the brood mother. Sadly, it was not to be. The book offered the same basic advice I had from the wiki. Which is to say, "this is a tough. fight. Load up on health poultices." Thanks sparky. I'd worked that much out for myself. Unfortunately, it has no recommendations as to the best way to acquire said health poultices. One of the annoying things about the game is the fact that shopkeepers will actually run out of shit. If you've purchased all the health poultices offered by a particular shop, that's it. You're screwed if you ever have to go back. At this point I have to stock up on health poultices the best that I can and return to fight the brood mother. There are two ways this could go that I can foresee.

1. I fight the brood mother. It's a tough battle but my new stock of health poultices help to pull me through.
2. In lieu of tearing my hair out trying to defeat this vomitous bitch queen, I may just change the level of difficulty and move the hell on.

Webcomics worth mentioning
Ever since I was introduced, really introduced to comics in middle-school, I have been seriously into story telling through sequential art, and comic books in particular. As with most thirteen year old boys I was particularly excited about boobies. But that's a different subject, we're talking about comic books. Initially I was particularly fascinated with superheroes, as I think most boys my age were (those who were reading comics, anyway). In recent years I've kind of moved away from that and started seeking out either new spins on the superhero story, or other types of story told using comic books (graphic novels if you feel like gilding the lily a bit) as a medium.

Lately I've been keeping my eye out for webcomics. These are largely self-published, independent stories, told in the form of an online, illustrated serial. The ones listed below are the best I've read to date:
  • Girl Genius - bar none my favorite on this list. Drawn by Phil Foglio and written by his wife, Kaja.
  • Looking for Group - Seriously takes the piss out of the fantasy genre and fantasy gaming, especially WoW. Looking for group is frequently hilarious, but does struggle with its identity. Sometimes this comic is side-splittingly hilarious, other times its run out and buy some HIM albums level of "takes itself seriously."
  • Sequential Art - Written and drawn by the excellent Phillip M. Jackson. This is a more traditional comic strip that is typically updated a couple of times a week.
  • Penny Arcade - Check it out, read the archives, 'nuff said. These guys will be at the Meltdown in Hollywood on the 26th. I'm going to be there.
Geek Speak x2
In light of the fact that I felt it necessary to take down my last cartoon, because you never know who is watching, I'm offering two Geek Speak strips with this post. This first one was done as I was thinking about how an encounter between a bunch of l0w-to-mid level adventurers and a giant might end. This would have to be a party that had been successful enough to get cocky, but not so successful as to stand a snowball's chance of actually taking a giant. Honestly, I'm surprised more encounters don't go this way.

Geek Speak

Click on the image above to view the full-sized version.

This next cartoon came to me when I got to thinking about the infamous smoking beaver shot from Basic Instinct. To date still one of the most boring movies I have ever seen. The action of the movie breaks down kind of like this:
  • Sharon Stone is screwing some guy
  • Michael Douglas is investigating a crime scene
  • Intense dialog
  • Infamous smoking beaver shot
  • Intense dialog
  • Sharon Stone is screwing Michael Douglas
  • Intense Dialog
  • Michael Douglas is screwing some other woman who, I think, is supposed to be a forensic psychologist but delivers her lines like someone who once heard that there was such a thing.
  • Normal Guy is ready to tear his eyes out just to make something fucking interesting happen.
Just before the most famous shot from this movie Sharon Stone asks a bunch of police investigators if they're going to arrest her for smoking. Then she uncrosses her legs in the most unmotivated, gratuitous up-skirt in the history of film. Anyway, her line got me to thinking about being arrested for smoking. Who would do that? The smoking police? What would the smoking police look like, and would they have their own version of S.W.A.T. for handling difficult situations? That lead me to draw this, the second Geek Speak entry for today's post.

Geek Speak


  1. LOL! Your first geek speak comic...just about every D&D adventure we've had. How did you KNOW?!

  2. Lol I thought the chopper was to justify the retail therapy. I was gonna buy it to justify my own retail therapy, but now I gotta find another excuse. :)

    I love your comics, they're exactly what I find funny about role playing.

  3. Yep, been in that session... lol