Monday, August 22, 2011

Random Accent Apple Plunge

Random Thought of the Day
Take just about anything that includes the word "public" and drop the 'L.' The results are almost universally hilarious.
  • I couldn't afford the tuition so I ended up sending my kids to pubic school.
  • President Obama campaigned on health care reform and the formation of a pubic health option.
  • My electricity is provided by the department of pubic utilities. 
Awesome sauce.

Another Random Thought
If you send nude pictures to someone attached to a text message it's called "sexting." So if you send text messages with nude pictures of yourself to yourself, is that considered auto-erotica? Would that be called texturbation?

Your Accent Stinks
I don't know if I'm alone in this, but I fucking hate it when a pundit or news anchor affects a regional dialect in the pronunciation of words from or related to other parts of the world or cultures. It seems like they assume that butchering the correct pronunciation of "quesadilla" gives them some kind of cred with the Latin community. It doesn't. It makes them sound like the pretentious, pandering, pathetic talking head douche bags they really are.

I love it when there's news in a part of the world where the people don't seem to believe in the need for vowels, like Iceland. As calamitous as the eruption of the Eyjafjallaj√∂kull volcano proved to be for international tavel, it was fun to watch news anchors try to pronounce the thing. More than once I saw a talking head with a  bad tan and too much botox try to give the correct pronunciation, accent and all, only  to have their tongue burst out of their mouth, wrap around their neck, and choke them to death. True story.

Apple is no longer cool
There was a time, and not so long ago, that owning whatever overpriced consumer bullshit Apple released five minutes ago was a symbol of your status and sexual veracity. These things communicated, "here is a man with disposable income and good taste, a man that underwear models should be falling over each other to have sex with." Now, this is no longer the case.

The stench of elitism still hangs on Apple like the memory of a trash fire, sure, but Apple products have tumbled from their exalted position and landed in the wasteland of ubiquity. It's no longer something special or unique to have an iPhone. Millions of people have them now. The hard-line elitists and true believers now focus on other things within the Apple ecosystem. Like the white iPhone. My wife has one. To hear other iPhone users talk to her she might as well have come into the room riding a unicorn.

There's also stratification on version lines. Have an iPhone 3GS? You drooling Luddite, don't you know everyone who is anyone has an iPhone 4? Plebeian. This phenomena exists within the Apple ecosystem, and only within the Apple ecosystem. Everyone outside of that group of people frankly doesn't give a shit. "You have an iPhone? That's so awesome I could just shit, you are so fucking cool, just like that guy, and that guy, and that guy..." With the emergence of Android as a global leader Apple's tumble from grace will only gain momentum until it turns into a clumsy para-jumper trips out of the airplane without a chute terminal velocity type plunge. Honestly, THAT would be cool.