Random Stuff and The Curse of the Murse

This will be a long one. You have been warned.

Geek Speak
I'm trying something a little different and putting the cartoon first. Also, this post really did go a lot longer than I thought it would. If I like this layout I may stick with it. Regarding the cartoon, it doesn't take a lot of explanation; my wife referred to my laptop case as a "murse" and I thought that was funny. This comic leaped fully formed from my head onto the page, much like the birth of a Greek God, but with less pathos or promiscuity.

Geek Speak

Questionable Content:
Do not read this blog go to this website, click the "First" link and start reading: http://questionablecontent.net. This comic has effectively devoured most of my day today and a fair number of my evenings this week. There are a LOT of jokes about indie rock, most of which fly right over my head, but the rest of the time it's mostly about the characters, their relationships, and shenanigans.

Random thought of the day:
I've decided that burnt orange is not a color. It's an extrusion into our dimension of some elder evil entity, perverting the world through grandmothers who buy shirts of this hue for unsuspecting grandchildren. This subtle devil then so corrupts these helpless little old ladies into insisting their children wear the Shirt of the Abominable Shade to family gatherings. Be warned. Your cousin in that awful shirt at the family reunion is actually robed in pure evil. 

Apple Shenanigans, or Everyone Should be Very, Very Afraid of Apple and The Jobs
The fervor over all things Apple is driving me bananas. I have a number of friends who will disagree with this, but I cannot wait for this apple fad to die. Do I have anything in particular against Mac, per se? No. Why would I? A Mac is a thing. It cares about my grudges about as much as I might care about hatred directed at me from a coffee table. As an operating system Mac is ok, I've just never seen anything in it that I found to be a terribly compelling reason to switch. Do I have a problem with any of their products? For the most part, no. They make decent computers and some fun toys (let's just be honest here; the iPad is more a toy than a tool). My problems with Apple have more to do with the company than what they sell. Here are just some general thoughts:

• Overall misrepresentation of their products. The Macbook Pro, for example, is running an Intel Core i5 or Core i7 processor (the new models, any purchased before 2010 were running the older Core 2 Duo). Apple would like you to believe that Macs are somehow different, or special, or in a class by themselves. They're not. For the most part, they're using the same hardware you'll find in any mid-to-high end PC running Windows. Since Apple started using Intel components there is virtually no difference between a Mac and PC under the hood! In fact, I could easily run Mac OS X instead of Windows 7 on the computer I just built. Make no mistake, all Apple is peddling is their bullshit aesthetic.
• Misrepresentation of system security. One of the selling points touted by The Jobs and the Disciples of Apple (DoA) is the apparent security of Mac over Windows. "Mac's don't need anti-virus," is the battle cry of DoA, worldwide. This loses some credibility when hackers at CanSecWest exploit vulnerabilities in Mac OS and Safari, bringing down the Mac within minutes on a pretty consistent basis. As the Mac star continues to rise the DoA can only rely on 'security through obscurity' so much longer. 
• Draconian user and developer agreements. No shit; the developer agreement for programmers wanting to create apps for the iPad not only required the development device to be secured to a table, but the goddamn table to be bolted to the floor. That's just the tip of the Jobsian iceberg. There are other things, as well. Programmers can develop using only one language set. Programmers can only develop apps using certain development tool kits. The list goes on. 
• Media control. Given the requirements for the iPad how does Apple allow a developer working for them to wander off campus with a prototype of the next iPhone in his pocket. When said developer then gets drunk and loses it at a bar, how does Apple then not take him out back and behead him slowly using dental floss? How does something like this just happen at a time that it can steal all the press away from HTC's launch of the Droid Incredible? The world may never know, but I like to picture The Jobs sitting behind a massive white desk with no hard edges stroking a genetically engineered hypo-allergenic cat that doesn't shed on his black turtlenecks and muttering things like, "soon my pet, soon, it will all be ours."
• Unprecedented control over delivery channels and the developer community. This, seriously, this gives me the screaming heebie jeebies. Let's follow this as logically as possible:
1. Apple under the direction of The Jobs releases the iPod. After a rocky start it crushes all other portable media devices. Hell, even I have one. Like I said, I don't have anything against the products, and they make some nice toys. 
2. iTunes, despite having serious performance issues and a number of other, even more aggravating flaws, becomes the number one seller of music in the country. 
3. With the massive success of the iPod, followed by the iPod touch, Apple launches the iPhone. Despite a rocky start due to bad design and poor service from AT&T, the iPhone goes on to become wildly popular.
4. The Apps Store opens up marking the availability of an unprecedented means to consume content on a portable device. The rallying cry of Apple becomes, "We have 200,000 Apps! What have you got?"
5. Apple launches the iPad a device meant solely for wireless media and content consumption. A battle begins with Apple's once good friend, Adobe, over Flash support. Apple refuses to support Flash, claiming that everything can be accomplished through HTML 5, javascript, and CSS. These are standards, it should be pointed out, that are (as yet) unsupported in the majority of Internet browsers. It should also be pointed out that while most video is encoded in H.264 (Apple's 'open standard' poster boy), it is displayed in a Flash container.
• Do you see what's happening here. Slowly, incrementally, and in collusion with consumers (with or without their knowledge), Apple is gaining control over the standards under which content is developed, the delivery mechanism for the content, and the means in which the content is consumed. If their management of apps in the App Store is any indication they are also well on their way to controlling the content itself. We've actually started to see them exert this influence with actions such as going to the recording industry and telling that bag of assholes (I have no love for the RIAA, either) they would not carry any music in iTunes that was also made available in other delivery mechanisms. While they didn't name any names, this was pointed at Amazon, the number two music sales vehicle in the country. 

So the bottom line of this whole thing is we are very much in danger of allowing Apple and, by extension, The Jobs, to take control over what we see, how we see it, and where it comes from.  Scary stuff.

Interesting Times, or Living in the Future

Interesting Times

If I may be serious for a moment, and at the risk of sounding like granddad ranting at Christmas dinner, kids these days are really missing out, and they either don't know or don't care. Walk around any school. Take your pick of any elementary or middle school, just make sure to dress in conspicuously friendly clothes. We don't want anyone slapped with a restraining order or registered as a sex offender. If you just take things in for a moment you will notice nary a kid without a phone, ipod, blackberry, notebook, netbook, iphone or some other electronic do-da or gadget designed to keep them connected to the digital broadcast-net. What I will call here, the 'broadnet.' I know that sounds like a low-end porn channel, but hang with me for a moment.

People of a certain age, such as myself, have a really interesting perspective on the development of our ability to interact without connecting. Let me explain that a little bit, and just for kicks I'll stick with the 'granddad ranting at dinner' motif. When I was their age we didn't have all these fancy cell phones and knick-knacks. If we wanted to look stuff up, we went to the library. If we wanted to talk to someone on the phone, we left a message on an answering machine or actually talked with that person so they would know when we'd be home and could call. If we wanted to hang out, we actually got together instead of logging on to Facespace or MyBook, or whatever the hell these kids are calling it.

The point being, we got outside. We connected. It can be argued that we're more connected now than ever, thanks to the Broadnet (like the use of capitalization there? Thanks.). I would argue the reverse is true. We don't connect. We don't get personal. Young people these days may have more friends than ever, if a lengthy friends-list on Twitspace (wow. that works better than I expected) is any indication, but all of those people are kept at a safe distance.

The saddest manifestation of this is something my wife commented on at some point. She happened to be passing by a couple of girls who were on lunch from school. These two girls had cell phones out and were giggling like mad while they sent a flurry of text messages, the accumulated cost of which will likely be larger than the GDP of a small country. What she discovered as she listened to their chatter, was they weren't texting to friends who were in class, or at another school, or out sick. They were texting each other.

It might sound strange for someone who works in a technology related field to say this, but I don't believe that technology is bringing us together. Sure, I can talk to a developer in Indonesia about a project without ever dialing an actual phone, and that's pretty cool. I can talk to him about the rainy season and whether or not he had a good weekend, and it's kind of fun to think that I'm hearing a voice from the future (his timezone is fifteen hours ahead of us in Southern California). On the other hand, I remember getting along pretty well when there was no Internet. Games? Just because it didn't come on a disc didn't mean there weren't games. If you wanted something to do, you went outside and found something to do, rather than plopping down in front of the TV and zoning out to bubble-headed celebrity infotainment spoon-fed to us by model-gorgeous women sporting two degrees with a 'D' average.

I think if we want to do kids a favor, or do something really great for them it would be to take them camping out where there is no cell coverage and no electricity. Even if they have their iphones and laptops, there's no signal and no way to recharge them. Take them out there, play games outside (who remembers hide and seek, or flashlight tag after it gets dark), and sleep out under the stars. Give them some perspective. Some of them might even come around. I bet they'd even tweet about it when they get home.

New blog post featuring the ten minute rant

Ten Minute Rant
Biz Jargon
This constitutes probably the most evenly roasted chestnut in my lexicon of shit that pisses me off, business jargon. Let's see if you can recognize some of these:

• Think outside the box
  
• Web 2.0
  
• Leverage
  
• and so on...
  

Now I won't argue that phrases and expressions such as these had their place when they got started. Mostly I won't argue because someone will add a comment about what hopeless, pathetic, left-wing, whiny pussy I am. To that Shakespeare I say, "fuck you!" Business jargon is to language what crutch is to a man with a broken leg. If you take it away from your standard business executive, it's very much like snatching said walking implement from the afore-mentioned man in a cast and watching him bounce hilariously down the stairs leaving behind blood and teeth. That's comedy.

The sheer level of overuse seen by these catching little ditties all but guarantees that your standard middle management asshole will be all but mute if you take them away. This isn't limited to speaking in board meetings (the subject of another rant, possibly) but also in business writing. Your average professional can't write above a fifth grade level as it is, so they try to inject meaning and relevance by endlessly trotting out these tired aphorisms like the world's only undead show-pony. If you were to strip away the business jargon from the average business executive memo you'd be left reading something shorter and more lacking in literary weight than your first reading primer of See Jane Run.

This concludes the ten minute rant for today. Hope you enjoyed.